Learn to say “No” and stop being a people pleaser

Think about it, how often have you had situations in your life, when because of the unspoken time “no”, you had to feel uncomfortable, nervous, finish someone else’s work, or abandon their plans in favor of others? If such cases happen to you all the time, then it’s time to think about it, because untouchable people do not live so well in the world, rather, on the contrary. But just think about it: why is the word “no” so difficult to pronounce? How does it differ from the familiar and comfortable “yes”?

Some people find it much easier to agree, and let this be followed by many difficulties, but he did not offend anyone, did not let anyone down, and tried to help. Learning to say “no” is important and necessary, because people who from childhood did not know how to refuse, often have great difficulties with self-actualization, work, and family. Unfortunately, people around you because of your responsiveness and constant refusal, stop respecting you, your help, and your constant use of your “services”, in most cases, take them for granted. For example, if your colleague is constantly asking to help him with annual reports, and a friend is constantly shoving their children on the evening “supervision”, while she is trying to arrange her personal life, then, most likely, it is unlikely that any of them feel indebted to you. Why not say “No”, relax and go enjoy the casino signup bonus program? 

If you constantly feel that you are living other people’s lives, doing other people’s work, and coping with other people’s responsibilities, then you have hard but doable work on yourself. But how do you learn how to say no to people if you’ve never done it? Remember, everyone has their problems and worries, elderly parents and responsibilities in the family, only for some reason someone frees up extra time for themselves at the expense of someone else, and specifically, you.

But why does this happen? Why always, even when you realize with your head that you do not need to once again for someone to do an essay or lab work, do you still take up this useless occupation for yourself? How to say “no” without worrying that after that the whole habitual rhythm of life will fall apart and turn into something terrible?

You expect to receive some sort of gratitude for your help. Unfortunately, people who are used to living with constant outside help rarely think about the fact that they owe someone something. Think about it, have you ever asked them for anything? Have they ever helped you? Hardly, because you are probably used to solving your problems on your own. You may also be afraid of possible negative reactions from other people. Remember, if a person appreciates, loves, and respects you, your “no” will not be perceived as a bloody offense, and will simply take as a given.

Say “No” politely

If you are fully convinced that the unresponsiveness ruins your life, you suffer from it, but nothing you can do about it, then it’s time to learn how to say this insidious and difficult word “no”. How to say no correctly? Is it realistic to do this without offending, because, what do you say, you can also refuse in different ways? In addition, here it is very important not to overdo it: for example, if for the first time in several years of friendship asked a friend to help her move things to the cottage, then refuse, probably still not worth it. But if such requests are repeated systematically, it’s a different conversation

First, take care of yourself: learn to say “no” at least in front of the mirror, and say it 10-15 times every day, slowly and with confidence. It should not sound like a request, there should not be trembling and uncertainty in your voice, clearly and calmly – “no”.When you learn to say “no” in front of the mirror, you can move on to active actions. For starters, learn to say no to small things: when shopping, stop buying things just because Learn to argue your response and express your feelings, for example, “I don’t like this place, so I’m sorry, but I won’t go with you.” Once you learn to say no to small and everyday things, it will be easier to handle more difficult and weighty situations.